Team. Of. Destiny.
The magical parrot that helps designated hitter Edwin Encarnacion hit home runs.
The "official" history of Encarnacion's distinctive home run trot is an obvious cover story. All fans know he is giving rides to the invisible magic bird from which he draws his power.
Via giphy.com
Munenori Kawasaki.
Absolutely everyone loves this guy. Fans love him, teammates love him. Even opposing players root for him and against themselves. Other than the fact that he can't really hit and had to be sent down to the minor leagues, he's the perfect baseball player.
Via giphy.com
The Blue Jays have the only starting pitcher in baseball who throws a knuckleball. And the knuckleball is wizardry.
Look at that thing. It goes left-right-left-right-down. How are you supposed to hit that? The knuckleball is the equivalent to finding a glitch in the Matrix. It's cheating physics. If Dickey was around 200 years ago we'd be burning him at the stake for witchcraft.
How does it work? The short answer: black magic. The medium answer: by throwing the ball with hardly any spin you create a drag force behind the ball that causes it to jolt and shimmy in unpredictable ways. The long answer is here.
They literally committed highway robbery to trade for Josh Donaldson.
Here's what must have happened. One day during the off-season Oakland Athletics general manager Billy Beane (yes, the one played by Brad Pitt in Moneyball) was walking down a dusty country road when he suddenly found himself surrounded by intimidating Blue Jays executives.
The execs forced Beane at knife-point to trade them third baseman Josh Donaldson for a less good, often injured third baseman and a couple B-list prospects.
Donaldson now leads the league in runs batted in and could end up the American League's Most Valuable Player. Oakland is last in the American League.
Now wanted by authorities for the steal of the century, Jays general manager Alex Anthopoulos manages the team through dispatches from his various Central American hiding spots.
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