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Thứ Năm, 8 tháng 10, 2015

20 Of The Most Embarrassing Things That Have Happened To People At The Gym

“I sharted. The end.”

This guy whose junk just wanted to say hi:

This guy whose junk just wanted to say hi:

"I was doing leg stretches and my penis and testicles popped out of my shorts."

donalq

NBC / Via hellyeahomeland.tumblr.com

This girl who required an ice pack for her crotch:

This girl who required an ice pack for her crotch:

"I was lifting a dumbbell above my head and my shoulder just gave out. So my arm swung down with the dumbbell and whacked me straight in the lady parts. Needless to say I started feeling faint, and a nice guy who worked there helped me out and gave me an ice pack. He kept asking if I was sore anywhere else…"

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Lakeshore Entertainment / Via wifflegif.com

This person who ~thought~ they had to burp:

This person who ~thought~ they had to burp:

"One time I was in a yoga class, we were in downward dog, and I went to burp but instead of just burping I threw up. But becuse I didn't want to be gross, I tried to hold it in and because I was upside down it just came out of my nose in green globs and it burned really bad and got all over my mat. I'm pretty sure like seven people saw."

—Victoria Boyd, Facebook

reacticons.com


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FIFA's Blatter, Platini, And Valcke Suspended For 90 Days

(AP Photo/Christophe Ena)

The FIFA Ethics Committee announced the suspension of President Sepp Blatter for 90 days Thursday, in what is the latest twist to the unfolding corruption scandal embroiling FIFA.

UEFA President and FIFA Vice-President Michel Platini and FIFA Secretary General Jerome Valcke received similar bans, while FIFA presidential hopeful Chung Mong-joon has been banned for six years.

The full statement, as published on FIFA's website, reads:

The adjudicatory chamber of the Ethics Committee chaired by Hans Joachim Eckert has provisionally banned FIFA President Joseph S. Blatter, UEFA President and FIFA Vice-President Michel Platini, and FIFA Secretary General Jérôme Valcke (who has already been put on leave by his employer FIFA) for a duration of 90 days. The duration of the bans may be extended for an additional period not exceeding 45 days. The former FIFA Vice-President Chung Mong-joon has been banned for six years and fined CHF 100,000. During this time, the above individuals are banned from all football activities on a national and international level. The bans come into force immediately.

The grounds for these decisions are the investigations that are being carried out by the investigatory chamber of the Ethics Committee. The chairman of the chamber is Dr Cornel Borbély. The investigation into Joseph S. Blatter is being carried out by Robert Torres, the investigation into Michel Platini by Vanessa Allard.

The proceedings against the South Korean football official Chung Mong-joon were opened in January 2015 based on findings in the report on the investigation into the bidding process for the 2018/2022 FIFA World Cups™. He has been found guilty of infringing article 13 (General rules of conduct), article 16 (Confidentiality), article 18 (Duty of disclosure, cooperation and reporting), article 41 (Obligation of the parties to collaborate) and article 42 (General obligation to collaborate) of the FIFA Code of Ethics.

The Ethics Committee is unable to comment on the details of the decisions until they become final, due to the provisions of article 36 (Confidentiality) of the FIFA Code of Ethics.

A later statement Thursday said Blatter had been relieved of his duties, and that the ban applied to "all football activities on a national and international level."

Blatter's interim replacement is Issa Hayatou, the longest-serving vice president on FIFA’s Executive Committee and the longtime president of the Confederation of African Football. The Cameroonian becomes FIFA's first African president.

Issa Hayatou speaks in Malabo, Equatorial Guinea in Jan. 2015.

Issouf Sanogo / AFP / Getty Images

Hayatou confirmed he would not be a candidate in FIFA's February 2016 presidential election, AP reported.

The suspensions come as the Swiss attorney general pursues a criminal investigation against Blatter on “suspicion of criminal mismanagement” and “misappropriation,” according to a release.

The Swiss investigators accused Blatter of giving “a disloyal payment” of 2 million Swiss francs to Platini in February 2011.

Chung Mong-Joon speaks at Stamford Bridge stadium in London, Oct. 7.

Ben Stansall / AFP / Getty Images

Responding to the committee's decision, Blatter's lawyer criticized the ethics committee, saying it "did not follow the Code of Ethics and Disciplinary Code," the Daily Telegraph reported.

The letter from Blatter's lawyer argued the committee based their decision "on a misunderstanding of the actions of the Attorney General in Switzerland, which has opened an investigation but brought no charge."

The suspension of Chung — a South Korean multimillionaire who, like Platini, is seeking the FIFA presidency in February — is linked to alleged vote-trading in the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

Chung claimed Tuesday that he was the subject of a "smear campaign" by Blatter, AFP reported.

General Secretary Valcke was put on leave and relieved of his duties last month after FIFA released a statement saying it had "been made aware of a series of allegations" involving him.

Reports surfaced in September that Valcke may have been implicated in a scheme to sell World Cup tickets for above face value, which he denies, The Guardian reported.

Blatter and Platini have also denied any wrongdoing. Blatter said in a statement through his attorney in September that the payments were “properly prepared and negotiated by the appropriate staff members of FIFA.”

Platini (right) and Valcke attend the closing ceremony of the 2014 World Cup in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, July 2014.

Christophe Simon / AFP / Getty Images

As part of the same proceeding, the office is also reviewing a contract Blatter signed with Jack Warner, a former FIFA vice president who has been indicted by U.S. prosecutors on charges of racketeering and bribery.

In May, Warner was indicted in a New York federal court along with 13 other FIFA and other corporate executives on corruption charges following an investigation led by the FBI.

The same FIFA Ethics Committee that suspended Blatter has issued a lifetime ban against Warner.

FIFA itself came under investigation by the Swiss attorney general’s office in May over potentially corrupt World Cup 2018 and 2022 bids.

The FBI also said in June it would begin an investigation into potential bribes related to the 2018 and 2022 World Cup hosting rights awards.

LINK: Current FIFA President And The Man Who Wants To Replace Him Face Investigations

LINK: How The Relationship Between Sepp Blatter And Michel Platini Soured

LINK: Swiss Attorney General Seizes Data From Sepp Blatter’s Office


Lionel Messi And His Father Will Stand Trial For Tax Fraud In Spain

Alex Caparros / Getty Images


Lionel Messi and his father will stand trial on tax fraud allegations after a court in Spain on Thursday rejected a request for the charges to be dropped, the BBC reported.

The Barcelona soccer star and his father Jorge are accused of cheating Spanish authorities out of more than 4 million euros — approximately $5 million.

Prosecutors claim that Messi’s father, who managed his son’s finances, failed to pay tax on his son’s earnings by using shell companies in Uruguay, Switzerland, the United Kingdom, and Belize between 2007 and 2009.

Last year, Jorge Messi told Spanish radio that his son had nothing to do with the unpaid taxes.

“I have always said it, he had absolutely nothing to do with it, so there is no need to talk about it,” he said. “My lawyers are dealing with this issue, so it’s something with me and has nothing to do with him.”

In 2013, the two men repaid the alleged unpaid tax plus interest, according to the BBC.

The income in question relates to Messi’s contracts with Banco Sabadell, Danone, Adidas, Pepsi-Cola, Procter & Gamble, and the Kuwait Food Company.

Lawyers have demanded a 22-month jail sentence for both Messi and his father, according to the BBC. No date has been set yet for the trial.


These Pee Wee Players Would Rather Do The "Whip/Nae Nae" Than Play Football

Who wants to play a game when you could be dancing?

A group of Pee Wee football players have become an internet sensation after they abandoned the scrimmage they were playing to do the "Whip Nae/Nae" on the field.

A group of Pee Wee football players have become an internet sensation after they abandoned the scrimmage they were playing to do the "Whip Nae/Nae" on the field.

youtu.be

The hilarious moment was caught on camera by a witness named Laure Farrell, and she posted it to YouTube.

It has since been viewed nearly 500,000 times.

The scrimmage started out OK, with the kids lined up and ready to play.

The scrimmage started out OK, with the kids lined up and ready to play.

youtube.com

But pretty soon, the music took over!

But pretty soon, the music took over!

youtube.com


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A Canadian Won A Nobel Prize And Just Wanted To Talk About Hockey

You do you, Art.

This Arthur B. McDonald. He just won a Nobel Prize. He is almost definitely smarter than you.

This Arthur B. McDonald. He just won a Nobel Prize. He is almost definitely smarter than you.

McDonald, a professor emeritus at Queen's University in Ontario, split the 2015 Nobel Prize in Physics with Takaaki Kajita of the University of Tokyo.

His area of research is neutrinos — itty bitty little subatomic particles that are part of what makes our universe.

Queen's University

He did that work using a lab buried 2,000 metres underground that basically looks like a super villain's secret lair.

He did that work using a lab buried 2,000 metres underground that basically looks like a super villain's secret lair.

What we're saying here is McDonald is a highly impressive human. So you'd think that when he got the call from the Nobel Prize committee it would be very proper and scientific and mention quarks a few times.

TheSNOLAB / Via youtube.com

Nope. McDonald — bless him — wanted to talk about hockey. The Maple Leafs, specifically.

Nope. McDonald — bless him — wanted to talk about hockey. The Maple Leafs, specifically.

According to the Ottawa Citizen, the conversation quickly went from physics to our national pastime.

"I had a discussion with Lars Bergstrom (a Swedish physicist) about hockey, and the fact that it would be nice if Mats Sundin still played for the Maple Leafs," he told the Citizen.

You're doing Canada proud, sir.

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The 25 Most GIF-Worthy Moments Of The 2015 Blue Jays Season

A magical season as told through gifs from the fan blog The Blue Jays Hunter.

When Kevin Pillar defied gravity and earned himself a new nickname with this Superman catch.

When Kevin Pillar defied gravity and earned himself a new nickname with this Superman catch.

Major League Baseball / The Blue Jays Hunter

When normally stoic manager John Gibbons was feeling a little crazy.

When normally stoic manager John Gibbons was feeling a little crazy.

Major League Baseball / The Blue Jays Hunter

When Josh Donaldson made that miraculous dive to avoid the tag at home plate.

When Josh Donaldson made that miraculous dive to avoid the tag at home plate.

Major League Baseball / The Blue Jays Hunter

When Donaldson offered some constructive criticism to the Angels dugout.

When Donaldson offered some constructive criticism to the Angels dugout.

Major League Baseball / The Blue Jays Hunter


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Oh Shit! Did Victor Cruz's Fiancé Just Send A Group Text To His Mistresses?

Mmmmmohmygod.

Looks like New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz might be in a little bit of a pickle. Like, he truly might be in some deep shit.

Looks like New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz might be in a little bit of a pickle. Like, he truly might be in some deep shit.

Jamie Mccarthy / Getty Images

According to MediaTakeOut, the football player's fiancé allegedly just introduced all of his mistresses to each other via group text.

According to MediaTakeOut, the football player's fiancé allegedly just introduced all of his mistresses to each other via group text.

MediaTakeOut / mediatakeout.com

Neighbors / reactiongifs.com


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