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Thứ Hai, 22 tháng 9, 2014

Hola Jesus!

Dear Mr Christ Superstar,


I know you're a busy guy and I'm not telling you how to run shit, but how about spending less time helping dickheads cross the Grand Canyon on a tightrope, and a little more time eradicating cancer, poverty and AIDS.

Actually if you don't mind, I have a couple of other queries for you? Were you the only Jewish guy born in the Middle East with a Latino name? It's just that I don't remember hearing about any apostles named Juan, Pablo or José. Also, are you really against gay marriage, or did the church just misinterpret your old man's word? I reckon you'd be cool with it, seeing as though you were fabulously comfortable hanging out with twelve bearded, dress-wearing dudes back in the day.


Anyway J.C, if you wanna get in touch, I generally make toast at around 8am, so that's probably the best time to appear on a slice of my low-gluten quinoa/spelt bread.



Biblical regards,



Rich Wisken



P.S. Thanks for making sure Taylor Lautner won, “Best Shirtless Performance” at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards, for his Oscar worthy performance in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. Fuck Magic Mike, Team Jacob all the way!



P.P.S. Where were you during the holocaust?



Dear Mr Christ Superstar,


I know you're a busy guy and I'm not telling you how to run shit, but how about spending less time helping dickheads cross the Grand Canyon on a tightrope, and a little more time eradicating cancer, poverty and AIDS.

Actually if you don't mind, I have a couple of other queries for you? Were you the only Jewish guy born in the Middle East with a Latino name? It's just that I don't remember hearing about any apostles named Juan, Pablo or José. Also, are you really against gay marriage, or did the church just misinterpret your old man's word? I reckon you'd be cool with it, seeing as though you were fabulously comfortable hanging out with twelve bearded, dress-wearing dudes back in the day.


Anyway J.C, if you wanna get in touch, I generally make toast at around 8am, so that's probably the best time to appear on a slice of my low-gluten quinoa/spelt bread.



Biblical regards,



Rich Wisken



P.S. Thanks for making sure Taylor Lautner won, “Best Shirtless Performance” at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards, for his Oscar worthy performance in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. Fuck Magic Mike, Team Jacob all the way!



P.P.S. Where were you during the holocaust?


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